Michael Phelps, USA → swimming
Come on Phelpsy.
Michael Phelps after receiving his 19th Olympic medal, which made him the most decorated Olympian of all time.
So proud. Everyone’s all “Ryan Lochte! Ryan Lochte!” but that man’s ego reminds me every high school asshole I knew. I’m a fan of Phelps and have been since 2004 (the year which was actually the height of my swimming career, although I kept training until I was 17*), thankyouverymuch.
*I was so good at swimming for a while, and then puberty just wouldn’t stop being a little bitch. Aaaand I played soccer until I was 14! On an all-boys team! We were almost always ranked number one in our league! And along with all of that, I spent four nights a week dancing ballet, pointe, and jazz! I used to be athletic! Nobody knows, because somewhere in high school I decided to dedicate my life to academics, and I’m still playing school as my strength today! Crazy! Exclamation points! File under: things you probably didn’t about me! Secretly good at sport!! Exclamation points!!!!