In honor of the announcement of the Oscar nominations today, I thought I’d share with you some definitely true, undisputed, totally objective, really important facts about the Academy awards.

• 2004 was the best year for the Academy Awards.
• Chipotle takeout is the best Oscar dinner. Which sucks if you don’t live in the USA or London. (Did you know that there’s a Chipotle in London? Awesome, right?)
• This is the only program that can make James Franco permanently ugly.
• In 2011, indie masterpiece Winter’s Bone was robbed.
• In 2012, actress Kirsten Dunst was robbed by not even getting nominated for her performance in Melancholia. No worries, Kiki. You’ll always have Cannes.
• Pretty much every year, someone is robbed.
• Except 2004. That year was glorious.
• The Oscars haven’t been held on March 4 since 1943, although they had their chance this year, since March 4 is on a Sunday. What the hell, Oscars? How am I supposed to have a glamour-themed birthday party if you aren’t on my birthday? I mean, 1943 was a whole forty-eight years before I was born.
• Immersing yourself in Oscar-mania until the boundary between interest and madness is blurred is the best way to get through the winter. 
• This one time, The Return of the King won everything. Including Best Documentary Feature and Best Original Screenplay. It was just that good. 2004, what a year.